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I recently read this book by Jon Gordon called The Energy Bus, and it’s all about how you focus on things and how to start paying attention to those things around you. It talks about our energy and those people that we surround ourselves with and the energy they bring to the relationship. So, one of the things I’ve been really focused on is looking at the people I hang out with most and paying attention to the energy level in those conversations. I’ve done a lot of personal growth there and many reminders that it is human nature for people to be negative. We, as human beings, tend to get sucked into negative energy conversations all the time.
I remember my mentor, Clarke Broome, telling me “When you’re in a conversation with anyone, the moment the conversation shifts to talking about another person that’s not in the room, is the moment you can definitely count on it going negative and producing negative kinds of energy”. And so, one of the things I’m challenging myself with, and I want to challenge you as well, is to pay attention to your conversations with other people. As long as the conversation stays with you and them and what you are discussing, things tend to be more positive and energetic. But the moment it shifts to talking about things we have no control over, things we can’t change, and pretty much none of our business, we must be able to change the conversation gracefully. One of the things I learned over the years is saying, “You know what? I really enjoyed the conversation that we were having, and I’d rather not have a conversation about a person who’s not here.” That’s one form of protecting your energy.
The other thing is surrounding yourself with friends so that you feel energized when you walk away from that conversation. You feel like, man! That was a really good conversation, and I really enjoyed having that conversation with that person. You feel great. Those are the friends and relationships you want to spend time with. But if you have people in your life that every time you get together with them, you walk away feeling drained, you walk away feeling like your energy has been sucked out of you, that’s the time you want to evaluate and ask yourself, “You know what? I’ve got a couple of different choices: I can either have conversations with that person if the relationship is truly important enough to you and try to shift the energy level, or you can limit your exposure with that individual.”
Same thing with clients. If you have clients out there that you’re dealing with that are constantly sucking the life out of you every time you get together. In fact, when they call you on your cell phone and you see them calling, and you’re like, “F*%k, what do they want now? I need to send them to voicemail”. You get a couple of choices. You can either change the dynamic of the relationship and have an honest, vulnerable, genuine conversation with the person and tell them how you feel and how you would like to see the dynamics of the relationship change. Or, you fire them!
I had an experience like that at the end of August with a long-term client; we’d been going month to month for a long time. But every time we would get together, and I saw the person’s appointment on my calendar, I’d feel stressed. And I tried for months to change the dynamics of that relationship, and it’s just not going to change. One of the most liberating things I did was stop working with that individual at the end of August, and it opened the door to another amazing client I am working with today, which is really cool. It created a space for new relationships, and I’ve brought in two new clients since then that more than replaced that client with higher energy. Man! I should have done that a long time ago.
It applies in friendships that you have: if there are things that you’re doing that drain your energy, like in my case, I’ll be vulnerable and honest, I find myself drinking one too many scotches every night and picking up the next day with my energy just drained. I’m like, I can’t do this anymore. And I’m not going to do this anymore. So, it’s a shift in protecting my energy that has allowed me, pretty much, to really experience a higher level of energy, a lot more peace, a lot more satisfaction, a lot more time for meditation, a lot more time for reading, and developing deep, meaningful relationships.
So, pay attention to your energy. If your energy is not high, it’s either you doing something physically wrong, or maybe it’s the people you associate with. I was taught a long time ago that you’ll be five years from now due to the books you read, the videos or audio you listen to or watch, and the people you associate with. You show me the top five people you associate with, and I can tell you within a matter of a couple of hundred bucks what your bank account balance is, your success level is, and all that stuff. Just by looking at the top five people that you hang out with. Protect your energy at all costs. I hope this message has been helpful.
